The Keymaster, Part I

The first dating site I joined, like I said, was a "BBW" site. There are a lot of them. I figured, being overweight, I just didn't want to start somewhere scary-judgey like "match.com". I needed a buffer. I needed acceptance. I needed some dudes who thought I was HOT. At first, I didn't think any dudes like that were out there. But then, they showed up.

At first, there were some random emails and "winks" or "smiles" or what have you. I thought for SURE I would die alone with a house full of weiner dogs within the first week. Surely, there was NO ONE out there for me.

Then I met "Drew". He sent me an IM through the website, and I thought.... what the hell.

Drew tells me right up front (within the first 2 minutes) that he's a "submissive male". I try to skirt that issue for a few minutes while I find out the basics. Plus, I'm just not used to guys telling me anything like that. Maybe because pretty much all the guys I know are married, in LTR's (long-term-relationship) or gay. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to immediately address that he'd just said that to me, or just pretend it never happened.

I? am a HUGE fan of pretending things never happened.

Drew brought it up again. He tells me that he likes me because I seem "sassy". Well, I am sassy. So, he goes on to talk, trying to tell me all about the submissive thing, and I immediately put him in his place. I tell him I'll be the one asking questions here, and he was to answer those questions. If he wanted to ask a question, he had to ask for permission.

Oh yes I did, girl! And he LOVED it.

I start thinking that this is the way to go. A guy who is turned on by me telling him to STFU? Where has HE been all my life? If only it were that easy. I really tried to ask him questions about his life.... do you have a job? Friends? Family? You know, the important things that you want to know about someone. His answers led me to believe he was a serial killer.

So I ask him if he's got any bodies buried in the basement, and he says "lol, no". But that's what you would say if you DID have bodies buried in the basement, now isn't it? I don't trust it. I'm feeling weird, and I have shit to do, and I'm about to tell him goodbye, when.....

He mentions Male Chastity Devices.

To be continued...

And Lo, It Begins

I decided I might want to date. I wasn't really sure about how to get started because well, I've never dated.

It all started when this guy asked for my phone number. I told him I'd give him my email address, and he seemed happy with that. He'd flirted with me previously (or I thought he'd been flirting, it's hard for me to tell) so I figured I'd hear from him. Well, I didn't.

I saw him again a few weeks later and I didn't speak to him, nor did he speak to me. I was traumatized! What had I done, or not done? Why couldn't I speak when I opened my mouth? I'd wanted to say hello, but I couldn't do it. Depressed, I decided that maybe I just wasn't ready after all.

Then, two weeks after that, I saw him again. This time, I did speak to him, and he seemed more than happy to flirt it up with me. He told me he was moving to Birmingham for a new job. Oh, great! So I'll never see you again, I thought. I mentioned him not emailing me, and he said "Did you give me your email address?"

Sigh....

He apologized over and over and said "If you'll give me your email address, I'll email you TONIGHT." So, I gave it to him "a 2nd time" and went on my way.

He didn't email me.

At this point, I was confused. What's the dealio? Why did he ask for my information if he didn't want it? Why was it bothering me? Ughhhh, boys are stupid!!

Then I saw an ad for an online dating site. It was a site for "BBW's" which means "big beautiful women" or "fat chicks". I thought... hmmm.. well it won't hurt to look.

See, I figured that if I started out somewhere that I felt more comfortable, it might be easier for me to ease into this whole thing. I made a profile, and pretty soon I started getting those "smiles" or "winks" or "flirts". Basically, it's a free way to say hello & show your interest. But to read your emails, or see who viewed your profile... you gots to pay. Curiousity got the better of me, so I paid for a month worth of service. That month ends tomorrow.

This blog is for all the dating sites, profiles written, smiles/winks/flirts received, emails sent or read, IMs sent, and texts received. Because if I can blog it, it's almost like it's not ridiculously pointless and a total waste of my time!

Do I really think I'm gonna meet the love of my life this way? No.

Is it an interesting way to pass the time? You betcha.

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